The term “situationship” might be fairly new, but the dynamic that it describes is a tale as old as time. If you’re familiar with the terms “friends with benefits” or “booty calls,” then you likely already know what a standard situationship consists of.
These partnerships can seem fun in the beginning, but they quickly evolve into uncertainty and ceaseless arguments. This article will explore what a situationship is, how to determine if it’s right and healthy for you, and whether it has the potential to turn into a committed relationship.
What Is A Situationship?
A situationship is described as a romantic or sexual relationship without clear commitment or labels. Unlike traditional relationships, situationships are often undefined, existing in a grey area that falls somewhere between casual dating and an exclusive partnership.
These relationships can be fulfilling for some, though they are often one-sided. Even those who begin a situationship feeling contented with the dynamic can, over time, become embittered. This “line toeing” between partnership and friendship is confusing for those who seek a stronger sense of clarity.
Recognizing When A Situationship Becomes Harmful
Situationships often begin from a place of enjoyable convenience. This is someone who you’re likely already comfortable around, so why not add a romantic or sexual element into the mix? Unfortunately, this fun can be short-lived and develop into a toxic dynamic.
Here are some signs that your situationship might be harmful:
- You begin feeling anxious or insecure about yourself and the relationship
- You start experiencing emotional distress regarding the ambiguity of the relationship
- The relationship requires a compromise of your personal values and morals in order to continue
- The lack of commitment displayed in the situationship has caused more harm than good
How To Tell If Your Situationship Will Evolve
There’s no set timeline for a situationship. Sometimes, these endeavors last for a few weeks, and other times, they stretch into months (or even years). That said, the best way to determine whether or not a situationship is worth advancing into a true partnership is by assessing it through the following means:
Honest Communication
Open and honest communication is essential. Discuss your feelings, needs, and expectations with your partner. Clear communication helps both partners understand each other’s perspectives and identify if there is mutual interest in moving toward a committed relationship.
Aligning Long-Term Goals
Examine whether your long-term goals align with those of your partner. Do you both see a future together? Are your life plans compatible? Shared goals and visions for the future are vital for a relationship to progress from a situationship to a committed partnership.
Observing Willingness to Commit
Pay attention to your partner’s willingness to work towards a more defined relationship. Are they open to discussions about commitment? Do they take steps to show they are serious about you? A partner who is genuinely interested in evolving the relationship will demonstrate a willingness to commit and invest in the future.
The Importance of Self-Honesty
If you don’t see that the above signs are applicable to your relationship, then it may be time to do some genuine reflection. More often than not, situationships dissolve instead of progressing into something further. This isn’t something that you can control.
But, what you can control is how you react to the dissolution of the relationship. Avoid the trap of hoping or wishing that your partner will change their viewpoint to match yours, and instead, be honest with yourself. Take the time to deeply reflect on whether or not the situationship meets your fulfillment needs.
When you have a mindset of open honesty with yourself, you’re far more likely to come out the other end feeling enlightened instead of heartbroken.
Remember, be kind to yourself as the situationship comes to a close. Avoid giving yourself the blame, and allow yourself time to grieve. Even if the other individual didn’t view the situationship as something exclusive and “real,” that doesn’t mean your experiences and perspective aren’t valid.
Healing And Moving Forward Is Always Possible
Above all else, the most important thing to remember is that you aren’t trapped. You aren’t trapped in the relationship, and you aren’t trapped in the mentality that things will never improve for your romantic life. Just because this person isn’t compatible with your life goals and values doesn’t mean the right one isn’t out there.
If you need advice for navigating the sometimes rocky terrain of a situationship, don’t hesitate to seek guidance in the form of coaching or therapy. Jasmine Coaching and Wellness is dedicated to providing support to those going through difficult developments in their romantic lives. The power to heal and move on is at your fingertips; you only need to embrace it!
References:
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/un-numb/202403/stuck-in-a-situationship#:~:text=Noncommittal%20romantic%20relationships%2C%20referred%20to,situationships%20may%20cause%20emotional%20turmoil.
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/202401/why-situationships-rarely-evolve-into-relationships
- https://medium.com/@cupidcornerr/how-long-does-a-situationship-last-c49a320920f5
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/couples-thrive/202301/how-to-get-over-a-situationship
- https://www.pexels.com/search/relationship/
