Grief is never easy. While the holiday season is well-known for good times and delicious food, it can sometimes make the ache in your heart even stronger.
If you’ve found yourself grieving during the holidays and aren’t sure who to turn to, you’re in the right place. I frequently work with clients who find themselves in emotional pain once the festive season comes around, helping them navigate their struggles with empathy and compassion.
While it’s understandable to feel lost and lonely this time of year, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about the unique experience of grief around the holiday season and how to fully process what you’re experiencing.
Why The Holiday Season Can Be The Loneliest Part Of The Year
Why do so many Americans today struggle with grief during the holidays? This growing pattern comes from many reasons, ranging from the recent pandemic to the unpredictable curveballs of life.
The COVID pandemic not only caused countless loss of life around the world, it also disrupted traditional grieving rituals due to social distancing measures. One study found the loss of familiar support structures, rituals, and in-person community made navigating grief harder. This ripple effect of this experience can be seen today by people still unpacking their grief.
Another survey by Experience Camps found 36% of Americans not wanting to celebrate the holidays due to loss and grief. The study dived deep into why many Americans across different demographics struggle to talk about grief, such as not having the tools or fearing stigma.
It’s important to note that preexisting mental illness can make holiday grief even worse. According to a NAMI survey, a common contributor to holiday stress is conditions like depression or anxiety – 24% of people with mental illness stated the holidays make their condition worse. Another 40% stated their condition becomes ‘somewhat worse’.
How To Navigate Grief During The Holidays
Grief takes on many forms, but it hurts all the same. If you need some direction as you face down the holidays, try starting with these simple steps.
Embrace Your Grief Journey
Your first step toward processing grief during the holidays is simply embracing it for what it is. While denial can help you function for a little while, burying your pain will cause it to emerge when you least expect it.
You could be grieving the recent loss of a loved one and struggling to imagine a life without them. You could be grieving going no contact with a family member after attempting to set healthy boundaries. Your grief could come from losing a job that meant the world to you or living with a new disability that changes the trajectory of your life.
No matter what you’re going through, embrace your grief without judgment or comparison to other people’s struggles. This means being present and having compassion for yourself. How you feel is enough.
Give Your Grief A Healthy Outlet
Stuffing your emotions down or using unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol will only cause you more trouble down the road. Your grief needs a healthy outlet so it doesn’t overwhelm you.
Your grief can look like taking some time to sit down somewhere private and cry. It can look like pouring your heart into a painting and putting the complex tangle of your emotions on the page.
A 2012 Penn and Harvard study found a direct link between artistic expression and reducing stress, anxiety, and fluctuating moods. When your grief becomes too raw and painful, sinking into art forms like painting, dancing, or music can help you heal.
There’s no ‘perfect’ way to grieve. Simply try to vent what you’re feeling on a regular basis.
Fall Back On Simple Daily Habits
Grief can make it hard to think. When you have easy daily habits to fall back on, you can strike a balance between getting things done while keeping yourself occupied.
These habits can look like doing a load of laundry, making yourself a cup of tea, or going for a nice walk. Since grief can make life feel like it’s over, doing mundane activities is a gentle reminder that your life is still continuing.
Ask For Help From Family And Friends
With grief weighing down your day-to-day life, it’s hard to get some things done. Asking your family or friends for help with simple tasks can help immensely with getting through the season.
These requests don’t have to be massive, either. It could be something as simple as asking someone to make you lunch or asking for help watering your plants. These little interactions can also help with the loneliness that can creep in during this period.
Navigate Your Grief With The Help Of A Coach
Grief is a part of life. Jasmine Coaching and Wellness is a firm shoulder when you feel like your life is crashing around you. I’ve worked with clients to help untangle their grief, mourn deeply, and reconnect with people once more.
References:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9720061
https://www.globenewswire.com/en/news-release/2021/11/02/2325583/0/en/36-of-Americans-Don-t-Feel-Like-Celebrating-the-Holidays-This-Year-Due-to-Feelings-of-Grief-and-Loss-Finds-New-Experience-Camps-Harris-Poll-Survey.html
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2804629/
